How to approach Christmas and divorce
The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, love, and togetherness. However, for those who have recently gone through a divorce or separation, the holidays can be a difficult and emotional time. The traditions and expectations that once brought joy may now bring feelings of sadness and loneliness. But with some preparation and self-care, it is possible to survive and even enjoy the holiday season after a divorce or separation.
Managing Expectations
Let Go of the Past
One of the hardest parts of surviving Christmas after a divorce or separation is letting go of the past. Traditions and memories that were once shared with a partner may now feel painful and overwhelming. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and allow yourself to grieve the loss of what once was. However, it’s also important to remember that the past cannot be changed and dwelling on it will only bring more pain. Instead, focus on creating new traditions and memories for yourself and your loved ones.
Communicate with Family and Friends
The holiday season often involves spending time with family and friends. However, after a divorce or separation, this can be a source of stress and anxiety. It’s important to communicate with your loved ones about your feelings and boundaries. Let them know if you need some space or if certain traditions may be difficult for you to participate in. This will help manage expectations and prevent any uncomfortable situations.
Set Realistic Expectations
It’s natural to want the holiday season to be perfect, but it’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself. Trying to recreate the same holiday experience as before the divorce or separation may only lead to disappointment. Instead, focus on creating new traditions and finding joy in the present moment. Remember that it’s okay to not feel happy and festive all the time, and it’s important to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions come up.
Moving Forward
Take Care of Yourself
The holiday season can be physically and emotionally draining, especially after a divorce or separation. It’s important to prioritise self-care during this time. Make sure to get enough rest, eat well, and engage in activities that bring you joy. This could be something as simple as taking a walk, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones. Taking care of yourself will help you manage stress and emotions and allow you to enjoy the holiday season.
Create New Traditions
As mentioned before, creating new traditions can help you move forward and find joy during the holiday season. This could be something as simple as trying a new recipe, volunteering at a local charity, or taking a trip to a new place. These new traditions can help you create new memories and let go of the past.
Focus on Gratitude
It’s easy to get caught up in the negative emotions during the holiday season, but it’s important to also focus on gratitude. Take some time to reflect on the things you are grateful for in your life. This could be your family, friends, health, or even the opportunity to start fresh after a divorce or separation. Practicing gratitude can help shift your perspective and bring more positivity into your life.
Seeking Support
Reach Out to Others
The holiday season can be a lonely time, especially after a divorce or separation. It’s important to reach out to others for support and companionship. This could be friends, family, or even a support group for those going through a divorce or separation. Talking to others who understand what you’re going through can be incredibly helpful and comforting.
Seek Professional Help
If you’re struggling to cope with the holiday season after a divorce or separation, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A divorce coach can provide you with the tools and support you need to manage your emotions and move forward. They can also help you develop coping strategies for future holiday seasons.
Look to the Future
Surviving Christmas after a divorce or separation may seem daunting, but with some preparation and self-care, it is possible to get through the holiday season and even find joy and happiness. Remember to manage expectations, take care of yourself, and seek support when needed. And most importantly, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up. The holiday season may be different now, but it can still be a time of love, joy, and new beginnings.

About the Author
Vasoulla Constantinou is a partner at the firm and Head of Family Law. She is a SRA regulated family law solicitor with over 20 years of experience and has been awarded a specialist accreditation by Resolution, an organisation committed to the constructive resolution of family disputes in a non-confrontational manner. Vas advises clients on all matters relating to family law including divorce, financial issues and child law. For more information visit her full profile.
We pride ourselves on being friendly and approachable so if you need advice, please do get in touch by calling 0208 889 3319 or via the form below.











































